Axia's Programs Manager, Sherry Mohr, reflects on an opportunity with Duke Divinity's Christian Leadership program this April:
Earlier this year, I earned a spot in the Duke Divinity Christian Leadership Program’s 31st cohort. This cohort’s seminars are held at Loyola University Chicago’s Ecology and Retreat Center in Woodstock, Illinois, which sits on 90 acres of tree-lined and lush green fields. At the time, Woodstock seemed to be holding onto its winter season. My first day in this small town filled with snow flurries whistling through bare tree branches, just budding with their spring blossoms. In April, Woodstock was at its winter’s end, with spring pushing to burst through. This winter scene seemed to parallel my current season in life - a season of bare hope.
During this seminar, I encountered a diverse group of people working in various ministries. Our cohort consisted mainly of women from different faith denominations, and worship was centered around the Acts of the Apostles and the work of the Holy Spirit. We spent our afternoons in revolving discussions around the meaning of thriving and how to use the best traditions of the past to innovate for the future. Each cohort participant shared their unique story and service to their community and church. I witnessed in awe as our cohort united in faith, love for Christ, and service.
As I absorbed each discussion and the shared experiences of my peers, I contemplated my work for Axia Women. How did this all fit in the context of our mission? How do I use this newfound knowledge to innovate meaningfully for Orthodox women around the world? Can we, too, unite through our faith, love for Christ, and service to our churches and communities despite our very different Orthodox jurisdictions within the Eastern and Oriental churches? I pondered these questions in my heart throughout the week, seeking to hear God’s will for my work and service.
On the third day of the program, we were led by Kendall Vanderslice at the retreat center’s demo kitchen. Kendall is a pastry chef who integrates theology into baking. For two hours, we celebrated a common liturgy of breadmaking with one another. We discussed the process of transforming wheat into flour and the bacterial components of yeast. Kendall stressed the importance of creating and then waiting. Most breads need at least 8 – 14 hours of rest and fermentation. This allows the yeast to activate its chemical compounds, creating tension within the gluten and enhancing the bread’s flavor - beautifully symbolic of the transformation that occurs when God is working in the waiting.
I am naturally an impatient person. I also discovered during this seminar that I love to create opportunities, and I am an innovative thinker who also thrives as an accommodating extroverted introvert. Impatience is the tension that lives within me. It’s the rub that prevents me from seeing seasons of surviving as seasons of waiting and growth – of God’s healing work. I spent my final night at the retreat center wrestling with this tension. The invigorated feeling I carried with me all week started to fizzle and burn out. The imposter in my head demanded more space. I started this program eager for leadership training, and I felt stuck in a rut of self-examination.
My last day impacted me the most. As we started the day with our worship service, we were led by a peer who beautifully recited Sojourner Truth’s “Ain’t I A Woman” speech and preached about boldness, courage, and making our voices heard. She stressed the importance of taking up space and not making ourselves small. I felt this tension increase within me. My chest tightened, and my fingers wrapped around the arms of my chair. She led us in meditation:
Breathe In:
Be bold. Be courageous.
Breathe Out:
God is working in the waiting.
She proclaimed, “Take up space and let your voice be heard.” I struggled with this advice. It intensified the tension within me. I have been told to make myself small for most of my life. I found myself contemplating the female saints before me—the fearless ones who took up space and lived boldly and courageously for God, unafraid to combat the tension within them. The ones who understood that the transformative power of God sometimes happens when waiting and trusting Him.
As these thoughts circled through my head, my peer became quiet and still, and I felt the air in the room shift. She delicately pivoted and illustrated the beauty in the waiting for God. Everything I had learned and experienced in the last four days suddenly clicked together in my heart. Instead of hearing this woman’s voice, I heard the roar of the wind, the earth quaking beneath my feet, and the fire burning through my veins. Then, just as quickly, I heard the gentleness of God’s voice in my heart, warming me with His presence. Be still and know that I am God. He is working with me and within me. He knows exactly where I need to go and what I need to do. He let the imposter out of my head, giving me room to breathe freely and confidently.
I traveled to Woodstock anticipating a leadership seminar and received so much more. I released the tension within, allowing for the beginnings of transformation. Winter is not meant to last for long. Its presence allows for rest and rejuvenation - a time of healing and growth. My season of bare hope was a season of restoration and cultivation. My impatience is a yearning for more - a desire to belong and to be fully human. The strong female saints and martyrs did not make themselves small. Instead, they grew large in their faith, unity, and love for our Lord Jesus Christ. They evangelized, served the poor, sought the desert, and witnessed until their last breaths. They transformed.
Similarly, through Axia Women, I see a vision of what is to come: elevating Orthodox women across jurisdictions, uniting them in the service of Christ, igniting transformation.
