Silvia Farag

Silvia WOW 1a

Our Woman of the Week is Silvia Farag, nominated for her work in mental health care. She is the founder of Christian Center for Counseling and a driving force behind the Coptic Women Fellowship. You see her here on a family trip to Cairo and with her mother and daughter at the Jordan river. We asked her to tell you how she became involved in social work and mental health issues:

"I'm a mental health professional. My kids call me Dr. Feel-Good - I always got a kick out of that. I have been a Social Worker for over 15 years. I work with adolescent and adult clients in individual, couples, and family therapy. 

"I can’t imagine not being a therapist! It is another way for me to show compassion, empathy, support, and care for other people. Everyone needs help and I’m honored to be trusted with my client’s deepest pain, with the goal of relieving the pain and finding healthy and effective solutions.  

"I left my lofty corporate job to begin a career in Social Work. Something I always knew I wanted to do, purpose driven work. I loved working with people.  I took a position with the state in Child Protective Services and was learning on the job.  I am pretty certain that not having children of my own quelled the pain of some of the most horrific allegations of abuse and neglect I encountered.  I was able to push through the most difficult days of investigating child abuse with the support of my husband and the grace of God. As the years went on, I honed my investigative skills and I specialized in child sexual abuse cases.

"The cases were gut wrenching.  I removed children who were at immediate risk if a safety plan was not viable. I placed children in foster care in the middle of the night. Kids were ripped from their homes and placed with strangers in the middle of the night! Can you imagine the fear that these children were experiencing?  I brought children to the ER to assess the extent of their injuries caused by the hands of those who were supposed to be their protectors. I had to go to trials for termination of parental rights because when the alleged perpetrator was asked to choose the drugs or her baby, she gave up the baby. It was heartbreaking.

"Eventually, I started my own family and chose to start helping victims and their families therapeutically. As I studied and studied. I realized that we never had these open conversations growing up, and that I learned everything during school recess. When sarcastically asked, 'Where do you think babies come from, Silvia?' I answered with the utmost confidence, 'The angel Gabriel…' I was 10.

"I didn’t have too many school friends for a while. We were different. We were the only Coptic family in my town. We didn’t do sleepovers. We didn’t do parties. My family was strict. We fasted on Wednesdays and Fridays, so my fava beans in pita never really got the love it deserved at the lunch table. Now falafel is all the rage, just 30 years late.

"I was pretty smart on top of it. So, this late-blooming nerd was valedictorian of her 8th grade class with maybe one friend. And that was fine. Somehow my parents instilled in me to love being different. To own my individuality. To just love. It was no surprise to my mom that I would later pursue a healing profession. Not quite sure if it was from the residual trauma due to those schoolyard interactions or because it was what I was meant to do.  I never looked back. But my family just never had 'the conversation.' It was '3eb' [shameful] and they didn’t know how. So guess what? We have these conversations in my home. And we must start having these conversations in our communities, framing them in our values.  Some topics make parents uncomfortable, and they are less inclined to broach it with their child. That avoidance leaves kids vulnerable. I see this in my office daily. 

"It is my personal and professional mission to challenge the stigma and the pain one person at a time.

"I recognize that it takes a lot of courage to seek help - logic and reason alone don’t explain everything as behavior is usually an unmet need.  In addition, there is a stigma attached to mental health in our community.  For this reason, I try to organize talks / seminars every month to educate our community on mental health. This creates curiosity. I work hard to foster encouragement and trust that is needed for a client to take the steps necessary to create positive change.

"What led me to start Christian Center for Counseling is that over the past few years, several clergy and leaders in our community have reached out seeking mental health support for their congregations. We're out here in New Jersey and we have a very large Coptic community:  27 churches with about 50,000 members, including families like my own that were born here and families that have just immigrated. Clergy at every Church are facing many challenges.  Advice and support from a trusted Christian counselor can be transformational. Therapy can sometimes be an arduous healing journey because it takes time and commitment. That's what I do, and this is how CCC got started.

Silvia WOW 1b
Silvia WOW 1c

"Part of CCC’s service to the community is that we provide psycho-education, which is important in raising awareness and removing the shame that people feel. We all struggle in life and relationships, but that’s how we grow. I don’t shy away from difficult topics or conversations. My goal has always been to remove the stigma of mental health. 'For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.' (2 Timothy 1:7)

"I empower clients with the tools necessary to make positive changes in their lives.  When you're feeling good, your relationships become healthy and your physical health improves as well.  Our emotional health is directly related to our physical health.  It’s all connected.

"CCC is making progress and strengthening our community.  It's slowly happening as we continue to raise awareness and provide support.  God called us to use our talents to serve those around us.  "There may be no division in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another." (1 Corinthians 12:25)"

Axia!

Silvia Farag, our Woman of the Week, was nominated because of her work in mental health, Christian Center for Counseling and the Coptic Women Fellowship. You see her here speaking at a youth retreat and with some of the Coptic Women Fellowship volunteers. We asked her to tell you about her work with the Coptic Women Fellowship:

"Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a huge advocate for women. I believe that women are the heartbeat of every home. Constantly ensuring that everyone we love is being served and ensuring that our families feel connected. 

"I think women are uniquely gifted by God for ministry – to win others to Christ, to nurture them in their faith, to train them for leadership, to encourage and support one another in life’s challenges.

"I’ve had the blessing to serve throughout our Archdiocese for some time, which has given me the opportunity to see why women’s ministry is so important and necessary. I serve with Saint Augustine and Saint Monica Coptic Orthodox Church in Warren, NJ, and with Saint Mark Coptic Orthodox North America Archdiocese in Cedar Grove, NJ.

"Coptic Women Fellowship (CWF) began in 2017 to enrich, support, and strengthen the lives of women.  CWF has been blessed as an official ministry under the auspices and blessing of H.H. Pope Tawadros II and H.G. Bishop David, the Papal Exarch of the Coptic Orthodox Archdiocese of North America, and the guidance of our Reverend Father Moises Bogdady.

Silvia WOW 2a
Silvia WOW 2b

 

"What began a few years ago, has grown into a multifaceted ministry that touches and transforms the lives of women throughout the Archdiocese. Through God’s grace, CWF has grown from a few willing hands and hearts that were just craving service and connection, to a beautiful fellowship that is beyond what any of us could ever have imagined. There is something powerful about being surrounded by women who are working towards a common goal. 

"It was very important to me that CWF would become an Archdiocese-wide ministry to collectively connect all the talented women across the region. We often only know others from our local parish. I wanted to bridge this gap. We have annual conferences that have been become so successful in fulfilling this vision. The women behind this ministry are incredible servants and very dedicated to the mission. I pray that this ministry grows with the next generation in building up our girls.

"A successful women’s ministry can provide an entry point to the church’s entire ministry.

"CWF provides resources to support all women and draw them closer to the heart of God by animating Christian Orthodoxy.  Our vision is to minister to the needs of women so that they have an impact on others in their lives. 'If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.' (1 John 1:7)"

As always we asked our Woman of the Week, Silvia Farag, about her morning routine:

"Here's how I spent last Monday morning ... see if any of it sounds familiar:

"3:17a.m. I am awakened by the sound of Christian’s voice. 'Mommy, I have to pee,' he informs me. 'Good to know,' I murmur. 'Now go back to sleep before Mommy loses her mind.'

"3:30 a.mNow I have to pee. My bladder used to be legendary. 3 kids later, it's a whole new ball game.

"5:09 a.m. Mr. Christian Cuckoo Pants insists it's time to rise and shine. I offer him a check for $1,000 if he will sleep for just one more hour. But the kid sees through me and observes that sun is up and so must we. He also reminds me that I still owe him 10 lollipops from the time he tasted a Brussel sprout.

"5:30 a.m. My peaceful morning prayer and bible reading, starting the day giving thanks. I hope that I planted this seed for my kids. Before you put your feet on the ground, kiss the inside and outside of the palms of your hands, thanking God for everything we have received and everything we have not received.

"6:00 a.m. Hit the group workout class. The instructor, I mean Drill Sergeant in Nikes, hands me two 15 pound weights and tells me to ;tighten my core.' What core? If I can’t find it, I can’t tighten it, smarty pants.

"6:45 a.m. Rush back home. Shower, change and guzzle a cup of coffee. Glaze over the low glycemic Ezekiel bread. Gluten-free, sugar-free, taste-free is what that stuff is.  Spot the buttery muffin. What if I just ate the top of the muffin? Will it surround my nonexistent core and leave a lovely muffin top forever? Oh well, it has blueberries.

"7:00 a.m. Remind my 3 children who seem to suffer from the same condition that their father suffers from, selective auditory processing, for the 7th time to brush their teeth, make their beds and get downstair. Breakfast is usually on the run. And for the record, an apple is a perfectly good breakfast. An apple a day…

Silvia WOW 3a
Silvia WOW 3b

"7:15 a.m. Drive my monkeys to school. This is usually my favorite part of the day. I get them in the car, and we can talk about anything and everything. We usually pray the Orthodox Creed together and read a chapter in the Bible.

"7:30a.m. Arrive at crowded school parking lot. Trek down the hill and realize that I am currently sweating more than I did during this morning’s workout. First kid drop-off, successful. Not late! He likes me to wait and wave to him as he walks down the hallway. He’s, my hugger so I will wait even if it’s raining. Drop next kid off at their school with the usual, 'Love you, be smart, be kind and believe in yourself.' Pray that my influence will stay with them throughout the day. She usually responds with, 'Olive Juice.'

"8:00 a.m. Need more Coffee!!!! I order on my app, while I call my mom like I do every morning as I run in to get it. My mom, my best friend, reminds me that coffee and cookies are not a meal for a middle-aged woman. Then her epic, 'Silvanna,intee hat aandee Rabina?!' (translation= Silvanna, do you really think you can outsmart God?) How does she always know? I’m still wondering when I became middle age. Then I start my sessions.

"Fast forward to the evening.

"Mommy guilt usually keeps me up. I could have handled that better. Did I say I love you enough? Why didn’t I read a few more chapters with them? They didn’t eat enough vegetables today. Why did I just eat that entire bag of cookies? I need to finish my session notes. How did my mom do all this? Was I too much today? Was I enough today?

"Being a parent, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a servant, managing a career, maintaining relationships, (maintaining hair color), just isn't as easy it as it sounds in Proverbs 31 if we try to do it alone. We seem to forget that He is present with us if we clear some space for Him. God alone can center us in the midst of our busy lives. 'We thank You in every condition, in any condition, and in whatever condition.' (From the Coptic Orthodox Prayer of Thanksgiving.)"

Thank you, Silvia!