Orthodox Women Doing Pastoral Care

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A lot of what we do at Axia Women is highlight what women are already doing in the Church, which to us is a matter for celebration, respect, and often surprise. Many churchgoers  seem to assume that some non-ordained categories are reserved for men only. But Metropolitan Anthony Bloom, at least fifty years ago, observed that the only task reserved for ordained clergy is performing the sacraments. It is natural—if unfortunate—that many people see ordained clergy, because of their vestments and cassocks, as the “fullest” members of the Church, and therefore as the ones who perform church roles. As part of Women’s History Month, we’d like to test that perception! Today and over the next three Fridays, we’ll be using this blog space to take a look at some of the women today and in our recent history who have been filling roles that may surprise you. In this post, we’ll look at eight areas of ministry that are benefiting from the gifts and service of women in the Church today.

Let’s start with pastoral care. If you’re in need of it, your first stop is likely to be your parish priest. But women have also long been part of the pastoral care scene. As chaplains, pastoral counselors, people who minister to youth, adults, and families, and those who act as spiritual advisors and accompanists, their roles consist of emotional and spiritual support for people in their pain, grief, and anxiety, as well as in their celebrations, joys and victories. St. John Chrysostom tells us that pastoral caregivers, ideally, must possess clear and unshakable wisdom, patience, and prudence—though I expect that few people filling these roles feel that they attain to his standard. Let’s feel grateful that we have so many people stepping up to perform these ministries: priests, even in the smallest of parishes or missions, tend to be overwhelmed by the numbers of people within their purview who need this kind of care on a regular and ongoing basis. In this time of COVID and with the lack of a community-oriented diaconate in any of our jurisdictions, our clergy need help more than ever.

First, there's chaplaincy: This ministry is about "being" with people and their families (often, but not always, patients in a hospital setting) in some of their hardest hours. We are fortunate to have an increasing number of women chaplains.  Most chaplains possess a master’s degree in divinity or a related field. They are generally required to obtain Clinical Pastoral Education training at an accredited institution and complete a rigorous two-year residency program under the supervision of a senior chaplain. Sarah Byrne-Martelli is one such senior chaplain, and she even co-hosts a well-regarded podcast on chaplaincy called “The Wounded Healer.” If you think you might be interested in such a career, it’s probably not too late! There are women, such as Clio Pavlantos (pictured), Atsede Elegba, Angela Rios, and my sister-in-law Tania Bouteneff who became mid- or late-career chaplains. Others, such as Laura Wachsmuth, Margaret Wachsmuth, and Miho Ochiai Ealy who entered as younger, early career starters.

Pastoral Counseling: Pastoral counseling involves assistance in coping with life’s struggles. It involves a religiously affiliated counselor who works with individuals, couples, and families. Pastoral counselors can be licensed in the field of counseling or therapy, and are sensitive to spiritual perspectives, believing that one’s spiritual life can be invoked to help heal emotional damage, resolve conflict, pave the way for life transitions, and illuminate values. The one thing I can definitely tell you about people in this field is that we don’t have enough of them and, for that reason, they often seem to have more cases than they can reasonably handle. If this area interests you at all, let me assure you that you will always have work! Practitioners include Mother Katherine Weston (pictured); Ioana Popa; Demetra Velisarios Jaquet (retired); Bridgit O’Reilly; Mari Iacovou Mars, a trauma, intimacy, and sexuality counselor; and Lila Amirali, a psychiatrist specializing in child and adolescent therapy. They bring their deep sense of the church to their lives and work.

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Youth ministry: In this area I would include people who organize and conduct youth choirs, found and run camps, as well as those who run Sunday schools for teens. According to orthodoxcamps.org, among the Eastern Orthodox jurisdictions and metropolises alone, there are more than 50 Orthodox-oriented summer camps. They each have clergy attached, but are largely staffed by lay people. Some camp staff, like Olga Kirilchenko of St. Andrew’s Camp in upstate New York, have seminary degrees, but usually that is not a requirement. In addition to the laypeople who lead youth choirs and teen church school, there are people like Katherine Orfanakos Demacopoulos. More than 35 years ago, her mother was one of the founders of the St. John Chrysostom Oratorical Festival, a nationwide speech contest for junior high and high school students. When her mother died two years ago, Kathy, a marketing professional with a demanding career, nevertheless stepped in to keep it running and take it into its next phase. I would also include people who are fighting to keep space for teen girls to have roles in our liturgies, so that they can grow up feeling that they can genuinely participate in their worship communities. Some examples are Teva Regule helped develop a liturgical service program for teen girls and boys, Aimee Joshua (pictured) has created several podcasts that minister to teens and young adults online, Jennifer Totonchy and Lijin Hannah Thomas did youth ministry work for their parishes or dioceses, and Gayle Woloschak ran Bible study classes to high schoolers.

College and young-adult ministry: Laity in this field work toward connecting college students and young adults up to their late thirties with worship and fellowship opportunities. Orthodox Christian Fellowship, CrossRoad, and the Telos Project are names you may have heard. Orthodox Volunteer Corps offers young adults a year of preparation for a lifetime of service within and beyond the parish through service, formation, community, and Church. The Connect Conference, which originated in a parish in Atlanta, is growing fast and set to expand across the south. There are smaller, local efforts, like Orthodoxy on Tap in New York City in other cities around the country. There are two trends among lay people working in this field. The first are run by professionals who have or are working toward higher degrees in theology, such as Kyra Limberakis, Ann Mitsakos Bezzerides, Christina Andresen (pictured), Mary Long, and Jenny Haddad Mosher. Other initiatives are staffed by young adult volunteers, such as Callie Corley and Mary Marudas of the Connect Conference, and Spyridoula Fotinis formerly of Orthodoxy on Tap; their day jobs are in other fields. I would also include Orthodox professors in any field who use their office hours to minister to their Orthodox students who have searching questions about their faith and how they fit into it.

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Family ministry: Professionals in this field care for the well-being of marriages and families based on Orthodox teaching and resources. They usually hold a degree in psychology. Kerry Kaloudis Pappas is an outstanding example: She holds a masters degree in psychology and in theology. She is not only a licensed marriage and family therapist, but also works for the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese as the Coordinator for Seminarian and Clergy Couple Care. She also acts as a trainer and facilitator for Prepare/Enrich, a premarital and marriage enrichment program.

Adult Ministry and Women’s Ministry: This category includes all of you who organize and lead Bible studies, and organize conferences and retreats, like the annual women’s retreat that Reba Korban has established with Sister Rebecca at New Skete or the Syriac women’s fellowship conference established by Christine Altiniz-Kiraz (pictured). Ann Marie Mecera, by founding St Phoebe Center for the Deaconess acknowledges and highlights the pastoral care that women need. In writing her book, Maternal Body, Carrie Frederick Frost ministers to women’s need for a theology centered on our particular experience. Axia Women and its board members also fall into this category, with our focus on reflecting women’s lived experiences in the Church and making space for those voices.

Spiritual Advisor and Spiritual Accompanist: The role of spiritual advisor is often held by priests or monastics—but not always. Dn John Chryssavgis has written of the role of spiritual advisor, “The spiritual father or mother is a fellow-traveler, not a tour guide. The bond that forms can be very intense, the relationship very intimate. This is made possible, in part, by the spiritual mentor’s own purified condition and intense, intimate connection with the Holy Trinity. Though perhaps not yet fully glorified by God, ideally he or she possesses a purified heart in which the passions have been set aright and illumination has begun. With such a person we will be able to surrender safely and most easily to the process of spiritual direction.” Although there are monastics and elders (such as Russian babushkas and Greek yiayiades) who have gained their wisdom in the “school of life,” there are other teachers and monastics who are working to create training and standards for such callings. Some examples are Ioana Popa, who has set up a retreat center in New Hampshire, and is also attached to Holy Cross Seminary; Sister Rebecca of New Skete; Eme Menet Emahoy Wolatta Sellassie Black (pictured); and Mother Katherine Weston are spiritual directors to people inside and outside their monasteries.

Spiritual accompaniment is a more systematic practice. The Still Harbor institute defines it as “the process of contemplative listening carried out in the context of a one-to-one trusting and confidential relationship. A trained spiritual accompanist journeys with another person by listening to that person’s life story and experiences with an ear for the movement of the spirit, the presence of the sacred, and/or the insights that come from making deep meaningful connections. By offering supportive responses as appropriate and encouraging deepening reflection, clients can open up to new understandings and paths of growth.” One example is Jennifer Marie Nahas (pictured), who has been accredited by Still Harbor as a spiritual accompanist, and we also have monastics who have been blessed to fill the same role after formation at their monasteries. 

Next week: Church diplomats and consultants to bishops

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Patricia at Orchard House

Patricia Fann Bouteneff is president of Axia Women.