Sarah Byrne-Martelli is our Woman of the Week, nominated for her work as chaplain with a speciality in grief and grieving. You see her here at her D.Min. graduation from St. Vladimir’s Seminary and giving a sermon at her parish of St. Mary’s in Cambridge, MA. We asked her to tell you how she got from where she started to where she is today:
“I grew up in Upstate New York: Irish Catholic on my father’s side of the family, Presbyterian on my mother’s side, with Jewish and evangelical cousins. I was active in my Presbyterian youth group. I went to Haverford College and studied Religion. When I studied abroad in Athens at age nineteen, my professor recommended I visit the Monastery of the Annunciation in Ormylia. I had only my determination, my nascent conversational Greek, a spirit of curiosity, and a hand-drawn map with labels: “bus stop,” “olive groves,” “goats.” (I still have the map. I learned later that I was the only student who followed her advice.) Dressed in a long skirt, blouse, and Birkenstocks, I headed down the long road to the monastery. A man driving a beat-up blue pickup truck, with three kids riding in the truck bed, stopped and asked me, “Pou pas?” (Where are you going?). I replied, “Sti moni” (to the monastery). He indicated I should ride along with his kids. I climbed up into the open truck bed, knowing my parents would probably kill me for doing so, but then again, they were five thousand miles away.
“I arrived just in time for Vespers and heard nuns chanting the most glorious hymnody I had ever heard. This adventure planted the seed for my future theological studies, my spiritual practice as an Orthodox Christian, and my development as a Byzantine chanter. This journey also taught me the fundamental values of: 1) listening to – and acting on – the advice of wise mentors; 2) trusting my curiosity and instincts; and 3) allowing myself to be surprised as life unfolds. I entered Harvard Divinity School, pursuing my academic interests in religion, and I took a required unit of Clinical Pastoral Education. I found myself to be inspired and challenged by the CPE process, and I realized that chaplaincy was my calling.
“When I began CPE in 2002, there were no Orthodox female (or lay male) board-certified chaplains in the US. Healthcare chaplaincy was not well-understood. I believed that once it became clearer to Church leadership what healthcare chaplains do, why we do it, and how it can profoundly shape a person’s experience of serious illness, there would be a path forward. Call me idealistic, but I could not see a persuasive reason why I could not do the service of caring for the sick and dying. I focused on learning skills to provide excellent spiritual care, while networking with leaders, connecting with mentors, and starting to educate local priests and my bishop.
“In 2003, I received chaplaincy endorsement (an official blessing to serve) and board certification. Since then, I have helped facilitate the growth of Orthodox Christian chaplaincy. I now mentor a group of 130+ female and male chaplains, all of whom I have connected with one by one, by word of mouth, without a formal leadership role other than my own vision and commitment. Slowly and steadily, we have helped to transform the Church’s understanding of chaplaincy. This required persistence, resilience, and a deep love of this work. I have felt God's loving presence through it all! I am the Secretary of the Orthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology, and Religion, and we have a chaplaincy group that meets regularly. It's an amazing group of Orthodox chaplains, therapists, medical clinicians, clergy, and lay people. I'm also involved in our national chaplaincy organization, the Association of Professional Chaplains.
“When St. Vladimir's started its new DMin program, I jumped at the opportunity to get a more Orthodox theological education. Though I was the first and only woman (so far), I found my colleagues to be incredibly supportive, wise, and compassionate. I learned so much from my professors. For my thesis, I conducted qualitative research with grieving Orthodox people, because there were very few resources on grief from an Orthodox perspective. I was strongly encouraged by my Bishop (John Abdalah) to turn it into a book. That's how Memory Eternal: Living with Grief as Orthodox Christians came into being. I even recorded the audiobook myself (in a glamorous recording studio...my bedroom closet). I regularly give parish talks and workshops on grief and bereavement. I am so thankful that we, as a Church, are talking much more openly about grief and bereavement, serious illness, healthcare decision-making, mental health, and other key spiritual concerns of our parishioners. I can't wait to see what's next!”
Axia!
Our Woman of the Week is Sarah Byrne-Martelli, nominated for her work as a chaplain. You see her here at work; her recent book Memory Eternal is an accessible version of her doctoral studies. We asked her to tell you what she’d like you to know about working in hospice and palliative care:
“Picture palliative care as a big umbrella–it is a holistic care philosophy, focusing on addressing and alleviating the suffering of patients with serious illness and their families. It includes an interprofessional team of caregivers: nurses, physicians, social workers, chaplains. Hospice is a subset of Palliative Care, and it is focused on comfort care at the end of life. I have worked for 20 years in both fields, and I truly feel it is a life-giving ministry to accompany the sick and dying.
“When I was hired for my first chaplaincy position at a new hospice, I started the spiritual care program from scratch. I wrote the spiritual assessments and documentation, designed the bereavement program, and educated my nursing and social work colleagues about the role of spiritual care. I educated anxious families about how to recognize discomfort at the end of life, sang Frank Sinatra with dementia patients, and facilitated meaning-making with ‘spiritual, not religious’ patients. I stumbled through Greek with an elderly Greek Orthodox hospice patient. I facilitated end-of-life spiritual reflection with a family made up of one Jehovah’s Witness, two Wiccans, one Methodist, and two atheists. I sat vigil with a grieving wife in a cloud of cigarette smoke, surrounded by a mountain of Dunkin’ Donuts styrofoam cups. I prayed with an Ethiopian Orthodox family gathered at the bedside of their elderly grandmother. Every day as a chaplain is uniquely fascinating.
“I see chaplaincy as a ministry that embodies both ‘Mary’ and ‘Martha.’ Some days, I sit calmly in a room with a dying person: praying, listening, singing, keeping vigil, and holding space for the grief of loved ones. Some days, I'm leading a hectic family meeting in the surgical intensive care unit, grabbing chairs for family members, bringing boxes of tissues, tracking down the attending MDs, and leading conversations about goals of care and serious illness decision-making. I care for patients of various religions (or no religion), but all of them are facing mortality, loss, suffering, and grief.
“I also have found that Orthodox people are delighted to meet a chaplain who comes from the same theological framework, who can use deeply familiar language of prayer and faith practice. I try to be a loving presence to people of all faiths, and to bring the presence of the sacred into a highly secular medical environment. I have learned to embody many roles: as a spiritual caregiver for anyone in distress, a compassionate and trusted support for staff, and a cultural ‘broker’ on the care team.”
As always, we asked Sarah Byrne-Martelli, our Woman of the Week, about her morning routine. She is also sharing her icon corner with you. You see her here in her garden and at a musical theater rehearsal:
“My morning routine varies day by day: my husband and I wake at 6:45am and enjoy a snuggle with our 9-year-old, Rafa. I take him to Catholic school, and then I catch the bus and train to work at Mass General Hospital to care for palliative care patients.
"Other days, I work from home, because I currently have a two-year grant from the Cambia Health Foundation that buys out half of my clinical time, allowing me to conduct research on integrating spiritual care in palliative care. I start those days with weight training at the gym and filling my two bird feeders. Then I sit quietly in my office with my beloved icons, favorite photos, and coffee. I stare out the window at my Japanese maple, my dicentra (bleeding hearts) flowers, and the bunnies, birds, and squirrels. I'm not ashamed to say I've become a bird-obsessed person, a la Psalm 148: ‘creeping things and flying birds.’ One of my favorite poems by Gerard Manley Hopkins says, ‘And for all this, nature is never spent. There lives the dearest freshness deep down things.’ In this ‘dearest freshness’ of my home, I am able to dream about my next book, which will be about serious illness and caregiving, as well as the intersection of my doula work with hospice work. I'm very thankful.”
Thank you, Sarah!
