As we continue our series of prayers written by Orthodox women past and present, we share this Pre-Communion prayer written on the Feast of the Entrance of the Theotokos, 2022, by Matushka Christina Veselak.
Precious Lord Jesus, You, whom I desire (union with) with my whole heart, forgive me for the blindness of my heart and spiritual eyes which keep me from discerning your Body and Blood in the Eucharist, your True Presence. This deeply grieves me. I should be on my face in fear and awe. Instead, I am closed off to your Glory, almost indifferent to it. I am afraid to truly open myself to you. I am afraid of being overwhelmed and destroyed. I am afraid of being burnt to ashes.
So, I keep the doors of my heart tightly shut, allowing only a sliver of You in. This is not enough! Forgive me! Yet, you are gracious. You knock but do not force. You call, but do not actually overshadow us until we are ready. Like the Theotokos, may I say, “Be it done to me according to your word”. May I be willing to open myself more fully to you every time I approach the Eucharist. May I be prepared and ready for the act of union, of taking You into myself. This idea is incomprehensible. Yet, the Angel said to Mary, “Fear not, for thou hast found favor with God!”
May I find such favor through repentance and longing that I may truly receive You, and be transformed by You into your Image and Likeness. May I stop trying to cover myself with the rags of my pitiful attempts at my own righteousness, and instead, bow down before you in all humility, aware of my sinfulness and darkness, but trusting in your righteousness to burn away my sins, but not me.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.